Wednesday 15 August 2007

Optus = Twat, Loser, Inbred

Dear Whoever,

Congratulations on breaking your own world record of 3 complaints in 3 months. You’ve surpassed all expectations by moving to 4 complaints in 3 months. This being the 4th complaint, about….you guessed it my non existent phone line.

Once again a technician was sent out fix our phone line, and once again they exclaimed that the line wasn’t connected at HQ so they couldn’t do anything. Once again I was put through the agony of calling through to Optus customer service, and then being transferred to every person in the entire building, explaining my circumstances over, and over again. The reason I get to speak to so many call centre operators? Well it’s not because I have a craving to socialise with your staff, it’s in fact about two little words, “call stats”. PAINFULL!!!!!

Well the buck stops here! I have now had 3….count them 3, technicians at my house now. All of them have said the same thing “we can’t help”, and yet when I called today I was asked if I wanted ANOTHER one to be sent out. SURE, why don’t you send 50 out, and we can have a “I can’t do jack sh*t party” where once again I end up being shafted!

Seriously, I’m not asking you to perform brain surgery, or map the solar system, and surely there is a logical reason why our phone doesn’t work, that doesn’t involve sending out another useless technician?! Either sort it out or be declared the most useless company in the world. The Telco that couldn’t connect a phone line. Wow, it doesn’t get much lower.

3 comments:

The Hulk said...

AWESOME!!!! Funniest one yet!!!

Dikkii said...

Fuck me, nice1bruva. That's the best one yet.

You have to send the response to this one - I'm totally wanting to see this.

J-RIOT said...

Incredible. I'm currently writing them a complaint letter right now. If I'm not remedied of the situation I've decided to go full steam ahead and scan the web for anyone who has had issues or unresolved complaints from Optus and take it to a journalist who will make it well known. I'll be looking for you if this just so happens.